man in court
Satire

MAN SUES STRIP CLUB WHERE HE CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AFTER LICKING DANCE POLE

A 28-year-old man who has contracted syphilis after licking a dance pole recently filed a lawsuit against a pittsburgh strip club.

The Pittsburgh Herald reported Wednesday that David Sheldon, 28, is seeking $600,000 in damages from the Basement strip club. During the performance, one dancer apparently “squirted” on the stripper’s dance pole, which Sheldon decided to lick before suffering from symptoms of syphilis 6 days later.

“My client was unaware that the dancer had syphilis and that the content of her ejaculate was of a contagious nature” Sheldon’s lawyer, John Smith, told reporters.


Pole dancer

Latifah Jones, an employee of the Basement strip club, says she saw an intoxicated Sheldon jump onto the stage where he indulged in “French kissing” the dancing pole for several minutes

.“He must’ve spent at least 15 minutes licking that pole, he was pretty hammered. It took 4 bouncers to remove him from the stage,” one female stripper told reporters.

Sheldon’s lawyer, believes the club’s lack of standards of hygiene is to blame here and that it was the dancer should have warned his client that she had an infectious disease.

Sheldon was also treated for symptoms of tow other STD’s he claims he contracted that evening.

The owner of the strip club couldn’t be reached for a statement but one employee was contacted by phone who admitted that clients licking the dance pole was not something usually encouraged by the establishment.

The lawsuit claims the Basement strip club is liable for its employees and for maintaining a minimum level of hygiene within the establishment.

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